Pinch me

My marriage is miserable. Rather, I’m miserable in my marriage. My husband is loving and caring to everyone but me. He puts on a great persona infront of our friends and family. Behind closed doors he’s a mean basher who blames everything on me — I have  chip on my shoulder; I’m angry; I’m the one always yelling; everything is my fault, my fault, my fault. When I stand up for myself I’m difficult, stubborn and selfish. My friends think I’m happy but I’m really just hiding tears. I can’t even cry in my own home because I’m told IU’m having nervous breakdown. When I do share my feelings they’re later used against me in another argument. I want it to stop. STOP! I want someone who will be gentle and loving, and touch me as if they care. I just don’t want to hear the words, “I love you.” I want to feel the words, “I love you.”

How can the happiness of a wedding day turn to the misery that seems an eternity?

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